Seriously, Guys. What's With All The Bear Smut?

My books have been picking up a bit more traction these days, so much so that I occasionally make it on to the tail end of Amazon's  Top 100 Fantasy Authors list. That's really exciting. As I've discussed before, it's been a long-term goal of mine to become a more regular fixture on that list.

My recent release of The Land Before Tim took me all the way up to #87.

Not pictured: An adequate depiction of just how excited I was about this.

Not pictured: An adequate depiction of just how excited I was about this.

For a short time there, my goofy stories were selling better than those of all but eighty-six other fantasy writers, living or dead, in the whole goddamn world... at least on Amazon.

Then a friend told me to check out #7 on the list, so I did. The author's name was Ruby Shae, and from the looks of her Amazon page, she seems to write exclusively about heavyset women getting boned by dudes who can turn into bears.

'Ha ha,' I thought. 'Good for her. That's awesome. She must be running some kind of promotion or something. There's no way the writer of self-published bear-porn could regularly be rubbing e-elbows with the likes of George R. R. Martin.'

And I was right... sort of. At the time of this blog post, she's all the way up to #3, leaving Martin well behind at #6.

This is no fluke or temporary anomaly. Ruby Shae is here to stay.

Now don't get me wrong. I don't begrudge Ms Shae her great success. I know how hard this writing game is, and I admire anyone who can make a successful go of it. I'm just curious. Why bears?

I get that erotica is huge right now, as is the sub-genre involving shifters. It doesn't seem so long ago that "shifters" was synonymous with "werewolf", and there's certainly no shortage of werewolf porn out there.

Or even books about men who have wolf heads for penises, if that's your thing.

Or even books about men who have wolf heads for penises, if that's your thing.

But today's women aren't content to fantasize about fucking a dog, hence the change in parlance from "werewolf" to "shifter". Indie authors are answering this call of the wild, writing stories about women getting boned by men who can change into whatever kind of animal their readers are into. As it turns out, most of them seem to be into bears.

A while back, my Facebook feed was full of people talking about Christie Sims and her dinosaur erotica stories. Of course I thought that was awesome.

This is a thing that happens from time to time. Someone will come up with an idea so preposterous that the world goes nuts over it. You've seen it in Seth Grahame-Smith's Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, as well as in movies like Sharknado. They'll be huge, and inspire a bunch of unsuccessful copycats. 

But that doesn't seem to be the case with bear-otica. Amazon is crawling with bear-men-boning-big-girls stories, and they're all doing amazingly well. High rankings, plenty of reviews. I'm starting to feel a little self-conscious, like I'm some kind of weirdo because it's never even occurred to me to want to fuck a bear.

Here are a just a few of the authors I've found who seem to write exclusively in this oddly specific sub-sub-genre:

Ruby Shae

Violet Vaughn

T.S. Joyce

Zola Bird

Anya Nowlan

And of course, Terry Bolryder, the author of my favorite of these titles, the hilariously unpronounceable Bearllionaire.

It takes more than the ability to morph into a bear to impress the more practical-minded woman.

It takes more than the ability to morph into a bear to impress the more practical-minded woman.

So again I ask, what's the appeal with bears specifically? Why not horses? They're known for being majestic and well-endowed. Or gorillas? They're powerful and hairy.  Or prairie dogs? They hibernate. I could understand maybe if these authors had a thing for fat hairy men, but the slender, hairless cover models on every single one of these books strike me as distinctly un-bearlike. 

I don't want to give the impression that I'm mocking these ladies out of jealousy. I'm laughing, sure. It's bear porn. Of course I'm laughing. But I look at this as a testament to just how much the indie publishing revolution has changed the game, and I'm excited to be a part of it. Just a few short years ago, my books would have likely been considered unworthy of publication by the big publishers. I know this because I collected quite a few rejections before I finally decided 'fuck it' and self-published Critical Failures.  It turned out to be a great decision for me. I knew there had to be a demand out there for fantasy literature heavily laden with dick jokes, and I was right.

Likewise, these women have found their niche, and they're filling it with gallon upon gallon of hot, steamy bear semen. For that, I salute them.


If bear-otica is your thing, plenty of links have been provided above. If you're interested in comedy/fantasy with decidedly fewer bear dicks, have a look at my books.