Ariel Sanders' Ebook Marketing Secrets (are Bullshit)

This self-publishing biz can be a hard nut to crack. Once you've poured your heart and soul, as well as gallon upon gallon of blood, sweat, and tears, not to mention dozens of minutes, into your ten-page magnum opus on ebook marketing, how do you let the world know about it?

Well one person has discovered the secret, which can be found here in the book, Kindle Keywords - The Book: How to self publish, market and promote a Kindle Book.

The book! Soon to be a major motion picture!

The book! Soon to be a major motion picture!

At first, I assumed the magical strategy must involve spamming the shit out of strangers' inboxes, because that's how I came to find out about Ariel Sanders... every goddamn day. I ignored the emails for a couple of days, then started marking them as spam. But still they keep coming. Congratulations, Ariel Sanders. You now have my undivided attention.

"You were saying?"

"You were saying?"

Let's have a look at the description, shall we?

Tap Into The Amazing Power Of Kindle’s Organic Traffic! 
Everybody wants to know, how to publish a book, how to self publish, how to market a book, book publishing software, publish on kindle, how to promote a book, self publish a book... The answers are in this FREE book.

I have to admit that I didn't actually buy this FREE book, because it costs $0.99, and because fuck you, Ariel Sanders. Through the magic of Keywords, I was able to discover on Google that this shitty book is little more than an advertisement for a shitty software program which is supposed to shoot your ebooks up the Amazon charts by finding optimal keywords to put in your book description.

How do I know it's so shitty? Let's see what wonders Kindle Keywords - The Book: How to self publish, market and promote a Kindle Book is working for Kindle Keywords - The Book: How to self publish, market and promote a Kindle Book.

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I'm not posting this just to be a dick. Well... that's not true. I totally am. Allow me to rephrase. I'm not being a dick just to be a dick. I'm being a dick in response to Ariel Sanders' daily email spam-bombs.

One unsolicited spammy email is an annoyance.

A never-ending torrent of unsolicited spammy emails gets you a spot on the C&C blog. And look! You just got a new review!

Wow. That guy can eat a dick.

Wow. That guy can eat a dick.


Ariel, would you like to read my books?

Maybe you'd like to join me on Facebook.