The Perfect Gift For Everyone On Your List

I hope you all had an adequate Thanksgiving. Now that we've all said how grateful we are for the things that we have, it's time to rush out and buy some shit.

With only thirty more nights before Christmas, you want to hit those Black Friday sales hard and cross some names off that list. But shopping for gifts can be a pain in the ass. Will he like it? Will he hate it? Will it even fit? Does he already have one? If not, is that because he doesn't want one?

Allow me to alleviate some of your stress this holiday season, and give you the answer to all of your shopping-related questions.

I'm not going to try to be cute or beat around the bush. The answer is "my books". 

Of course it is.

Of course it is.

Let's start small. Coworkers, classmates, anyone you'd like to give more than a card, but not much more. Have you considered gifting them an ebook? Did you even know that's a thing you can do? I didn't for a long time. But all you have to do is click the "Give as a gift" button on a book's Amazon page and enter the recipient's email address. Boom. Done. Next. 

The ebook version of Critical Failures is only $0.99. Hell, that's even cheaper than a fucking card.

Some of my ebooks can also be a nice way to say something without really saying it. Consider a gift for...

a "special someone",

a "special someone",

or...

an uncle who just got out of prison,

an uncle who just got out of prison,

or...

a Trump supporter who you're obligated to buy a present for,

a Trump supporter who you're obligated to buy a present for,

or...

I don't know... Grandma?

I don't know... Grandma?

The point is that it doesn't have to take much time, effort, or money to show that you care, but not a whole lot.

But some circumstances require a physical gift. And I've got you covered there as well. 

Compared to ebooks and audiobooks, I don't typically get a lot of paperback sales. But I generally see a nice spike in December. Some folks, it seems, have discovered the secret of being an awesome gift-giver that I'm revealing to you now.

In the spirit of Black Friday, I've lowered the prices on my paperback books. Most titles, including Critical Failures, are available on Amazon right now for only $9.99. 

Do you have a brother-in-law who voted for Trump? Chances are he's never held an actual book in his hands before. It'll blow his mind!

"The fuck I'm s'posed to do with this?"

"The fuck I'm s'posed to do with this?"

But these books are more than mere tools of passive aggression. Every family has their share of freaks, weirdos, nerds, and misfits. You may be baffled by their strange hairstyles, taste in music, and clothing choices. How the hell do you shop for these people?

You buy my goddamn books, that's how.


One more book link.

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For an extra-special gift, you might even consider getting autographed copies.

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