“Greetings!” sang a voice that nearly sent Dave into the water. He turned around to see a young man and woman standing in the improbably waist-high sea. Each of them offered a friendly wave with one arm while keeping the other hand conspicuously below the water. Closer inspection revealed that the water was not waist-high at all. Everything below their waist was the tail of a fish, sparkling just beneath the surface of the water. The man wore a familiar-looking white silk robe, while the woman was bare-chested, wearing only some sort of strange cotton headpiece, separating her long, flowing hair into two plumes atop her head.
”Mermaids!” said Julian.
”Merfolk,” the male one corrected him.
”I’m sorr— Hey, are you wearing my robe?”
”We are grateful for the gifts which you have bestowed upon us,” said the female. Her voice was like angel song.
”Excuse me,” said Cooper. “Shouldn’t you be… um… covering up your nip-nips with clamshells or something?”
”That sounds terribly uncomfortable,” said the mermaid. “Does my body upset you gentlemen? You seem unconcerned for your own modesty. Where are your coverings?”
”They’re on your fucking head,” said Tim.
That’s when it hit Dave. That wasn’t a headpiece at all. She was wearing Tim’s pants upside down on her head. He had to admit, she was making it work.
The merman and mermaid looked at one another briefly, then he spoke up.
”We have come to return the favor with a gift of our own.” He pulled a shining silver trident out of the water. Two of the three prongs were impaling a two foot long tuna. “Behold! The marvelous bounty of the sea we bring to—“ He stopped short as a coconut bounced off his head.