“Aw, what’s that smell?” said Dave. “Jesus Christ, Cooper!” He was awake now. That was good. “Would it kill you to find a bathroom?”
“Fuck you, Dave!” said Cooper. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m tied to a goddamn chair!”
“Use your Barbarian Rage to break through the ropes.”
“Good idea,” said Cooper. “I’m really angry!”
Julian looked in the window. Cooper’s eyes turned red and his muscles started to bulge. The ropes binding him grew tense, but showed no signs of snapping. Instead, they dug deeper into his expanding body.
“Oh fuck!” said Cooper. “I’m cool! I’m cool! I’m cool!” He farted as his body deflated back to its normal size. “Damn. That hurt like a motherfucker.”
Dave started to panic, struggling against the ropes, his chair rocking forward and back. He made eye contact with Julian. “Ju–!” he said just before his chair tipped forward. With his arms tied behind his back, he had nothing to brace himself when his face collided with the wooden floor. “Fuck.”
Julian winced. That really looked painful.
Then Dave’s panic kicked into overdrive. “Oh my God, no! Julian, help me!” Cooper had pissed himself as well, and the yellow-brown concoction of fluids beneath his chair was spreading slowly toward Dave’s face. “No! No! NOOOOOOOOO!!”