Because Fuck You I’m the Dungeon Master.
Beware the Smiling Dungeon Master
Chaotic Stupid is Not an Alignment.
Don’t Start No Shit, Won’t Be No Crit.
It’s All Fun and Games Until Someone Fails a Saving Throw.
My dice get more ones than your mom’s thong during a good shift.
I believe you’ll find that rule clearly spelled out on page fuck you I’m the Dungeon Master.
Rolling dice builds character.
This is how I roll.
When the DM smiles, it’s already too late.
World’s Okayest Dungeon Master
Because I’m the DM. That’s Why.
Charisma is my Dump Stat. So Fuck Off.
Definitely Not a Mimic
Dungeon Master Literally God
I Put the D in Dungeon Master. I Needed the XP.
Jesus Saves! Everyone Else Takes 4d6 Points of Damage.
No, really. What do you do?
Rocks Fall. Everyone Dies.
The dice giveth and the dice taketh away.
Tread lightly. You look like just enough XP to level up.
You can certainly try…
Before you do that, roll me an Intelligence check to see if your character is as stupid as you are.
Chaotic Neutral Because Fuck You
Charisma is my Dump Stat.
Don’t Hate the Player. Hate the DM.
Intelligence is my Dump Stat
Lawful in the Streets, Chaotic in the Sheets
NPC Lives Matter
Roll for Initiative
There are 20 sides to every story.
What doesn’t kill me gives me XP.
Wisdom is my dump stat.